Dear Annoying Greenpeace Workers
Posted on August 30th, 2010
I live in this neighborhood, and I get hit up by you folks all the f-ing time, along with the homeless guys selling Street Roots and the bums just asking for crack money. Because there isn’t a place I patronize around here that doesn’t have someone asking for something on every corner. It gets old.
Here’s a tip: I hate, hate, HATE to be asked for money on the street, on the spot, especially when I’m with my kid. So when you say, “Do you want to save some animals today?” in a chipper voice while looking at my kid, I am going to say “No” every time. Do not then say, “Aw…” like I stepped on a kitten. Because if you try to make me look bad in front of my kid, I will grab you by your dredlocks and spin you over my head like a sheleighleigh. (If that’s even how you spell and/or use a sheleighleigh.) And then I will run for the hand sanitizer, because you looked pretty nasty.
Ahem. And to the guy I called a jackass because I thought he wasn’t holding the elevator for us while P was screwing around in the lobby? Um, sorry. Still pissed off about those Greenpeace folks.