The Angelina Ballerina Drinking Game
Posted on April 9th, 2011
When I wrote up the Dinosaur Train Drinking Game, I wrote with love. Not just because of Dr. Scott, but because P (and I) learn so much from the episodes, and we’re both spurred to learn more about dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals. This is why I yelled at the TV when Dinotopia called a chasmosaur a type of hadrosaur. Um, no, it’s a ceratopsian. Bite me, Dinotopia.
Today, the love? Not so much. We hate Angelina Ballerina. We tolerate it (but only 2 episodes on the DVR at any time) because P likes it, though I would imagine she’s picking up on the comments like M’s, “There is absolutely nothing redeeming in this show. It’s insipid!” or my significantly less erudite, “Jesus F-ing Christ, I hate this show!”*
We have one or two Angelina books. I don’t read them. If P brings me one, I send her to her father. (I know, I’m evil.) It’s worth it to hear M struggle with the French ballet words, give up, and then make up new words.
There are two versions of Angelina Ballerina on TV. I am only familiar with “The Next Steps” version, which has been lambasted by purists. Maybe the first version is better – I don’t know. I am not curious enough to find out.
For those of you who haven’t been exposed: Angelina is a mouse (or as they say, “mouseling”) who lives in a village called “Chipping Cheddar.” Her father owns a music store and her mother is a SAHM who bakes a lot. She has a younger sister named Polly. Most episodes are based around something going on at Angelina’s school for the arts, called Camembert Academy. Are you sensing a theme?
In any event, here’s the drinking game:
- Angelina uses the word “stupendous.” (1 drink – this alone will get you drunk in no time.)
- Angelina says “absolutely positively!” (1 drink)
- Anyone says “mouseling.” (1 drink)
- Viki does her goofy laugh (it drives me up a freaking wall). (1 drink)
- Miss Mimi’s lines sound cobbled together from multiple takes. (2 drinks)
- Someone notices that all the mice/mouselings with ethnic accents are gray or brown. (2 drinks)
- Someone notices all the gray and brown mouselings in the background who never get speaking parts. (2 drinks)
- “Cheese” is used to ruin a real-life place name, e.g., “San Francheeseco.” (2 drinks)
- Angelina crushes on Miss Mimi. (2 drinks)
- Angelina breaks her little sister’s heart by excluding her, ignoring her, or otherwise hurting her feelings. (3 drinks)
- Angelina daydreams she’s a star! (2 drinks)
- Angelina falls and hurts herself after daydreaming that she’s a star. (2 drinks)
- One of Angelina’s friends makes a big mess in Mrs. Mouseling’s kitchen. (1 drink)
- Angelina and Gracie get all Black Swan on each other. (2 drinks)
- Angelina comes up with some lame scheme to surprise someone that results in hurt feelings. (2 drinks)
- Angelina has to give someone “a really big sorry.” (2 drinks)
- Someone pictures Angelina in a cheap motel-by-the-week, in her late forties, a broken down mouseling, worn out by dancing, ruined by the world, and rejected by her stable and happy sister Polly. (5 drinks)
*I complain about Angelina on Facebook. Often. One friend said, “That show is one hungry cat from being the best thing ever broadcast.” SO TRUE.