1. If you’re an adult female, and a little girl is approaching the only vacant swing on a playground, if you run and hop on the swing to get there first? No matter how tattooed you are, no matter how fancy the coffee you’re drinking, no matter how tight the skinny jeans? You aren’t cool. You are, my dear, the sort of woman that I call a c**t, although not in front of my child.
Oh. And you don’t have the ass to pull off skinny jeans.
2. Arnold Schwarzenegger. The man who made True Lies, one of the most awful, misogynist films ever, the man accused by about fifty women of sexual impropriety — but was elected to public office, anyway? Now, everyone is shocked he had a surprise child with an employee. Really? This surprises you?
The future scares me.