The worksheet fiend
Posted on June 14th, 2011
Most of what I do in a day with Pea involves following her leads: does she want to go to a park or the museum or to Audubon? Does she want to talk about dinosaurs or do art? I try not to push an agenda on her because 1) she isn’t exactly malleable and it’s not worth a fight and 2) I’m heavily invested in a child-guided approach to teaching her.
At least once a day (OK, more like three or five), though, I have her do something that is “good” for her development. Chutes & Ladders, or problem solving, or basic number theory stuff, or a game with turns, or a harder-than-normal puzzle.
But what this kid loves above all else? Worksheets, particularly pre-K worksheets about matching animals to their tracks, or circling all the red things, or completing a shape. She does some things very well (mazes, matching, finding all the red things) and some things rather poorly (completing shapes or letters). But she will do worksheets for hours if I let her. (I have to bring her down gently with page after page from dinosaur coloring books.)
So weird. I love it, but it’s weird. Also, it makes me think about odd things, like, am I stifling her creativity if I urge her to color inside the lines? Or am I helping her develop executive function? Should I encourage her to find the “right” answers, or leave her mistakes alone? She gives up on things that are difficult for her, so I have to push her some: encouragement has to be effusive, not phony, and not so much that I annoy her. It’s kind of a weird dance we do every day, where I try to get her to do just one more thing that she doesn’t want to do (e.g., draw a J instead of a T – curves are hard), but not to the point where she’ll want to quit.
I have no answers, since our current educational strategy involves letter weeks. This is week H and we’ve been lax about it, boo.
I am curious, though, where you get your worksheets? I hear tell of free downloadable ones …
I didn’t do any worksheets with Pea until the last few months – I found a Blue’s Clues book at Office Max on clearance (for like $3) and got it for a rainy day. Little did I know she would love worksheets!
I’m tempted to get the Brain Quest book when we hit the science museum next. She loves their flashcards, as it is.
Both my kids love worksheets. And flashcards. So I let them do them. If they’re interested in it, what can it hurt?
The fact is, whatever you do with your child, you will always find someone who disagrees with you, and, as moms, I think we’re hardwired to worry that we’re messing our kids up (particularly if you had an upbringing where you should be WAY more messed up than you actually are). We worry that we’re not seeing something we should–that we’re DENIAL MOM (that’s me), or that we’re being overly critical of our kids, like, say, our mothers were (also me). We worry that we worry too much (hm… yep. I fit that description too).
And I do all of this worrying despite the fact that I’ve spent 10 years in education, working special ed. And what those years have taught me is this: if you show an interest in what your kid is interested in, and you care about their education and their school work and how they’re progressing, your kid will, overall, be fine. Worksheets can be creative processes–if you do them together. You can talk about how she got the answer she got, why she thinks the way she does, and, when she gets a wrong answer, talk about not only why the answer is wrong, but how she arrived at her conclusion (you’d be amazed the kind of answers you get… And how surprisingly logical a “wrong” answer can be). Incidentally, this can also be how you address those elusive “why” questions you were talking about.
So, I say, relax, take a breath, and try not to worry so much. Good parenting isn’t about being the best parent–it’s about being there for your child and doing what you think is right. Now, I need to go take my own advice. And maybe a Xanax.
I find it so interesting when, for example, she is to “circle all the orange things.” Once she finishes that, she looks at the things that aren’t circled, and declares, “Now I’ll circle all the blue things! And the purple!” until everything is circled. I love how inclusive it is, and I just can’t bring myself to stop her!
I’m glad to hear (well – you know what I mean) that you struggle with this, too. Because you have the education for it – I’ve kept myself mostly willfully ignorant (seriously, I read maybe one child development book until Pea hit 3 and turned into a demon). Now I feel like I’m struggling to catch up and figure out the situation.
One mom of older kids told me that the books are only valuable to the extent the authors never met my child. That resonated. Oh, yeah. I *am* the expert on this one kid, right?!
Definitely agree Xanax helps. Or Klonopin, as the case may be.