The Attorney At Large’s Guide to Urban Manners, Part IX: The Parking Lot
Posted on June 15th, 2011
Thankfully, we rarely have to drive. But when we do, I am the person who, when I’m leaving a crowded parking lot, will helpfully let the people cruising said full parking lot know that I’m leaving and where my car is. I’ll get going just as quickly as I can. Because I’m nice.
I am also the person who, when someone is waiting for me to leave a not-full parking lot, blocking traffic, and then starts honking at ME, will not move until they’re gone. Even if they start honking repeatedly and making gestures. Even if I hadn’t been wearing lipstick, I might take the time to put some on.
So either I can morph into one hell of an urban bitch, or I think the other driver is a vulgar virago who doesn’t deserve the courtesy. Or both.
OK. AND she’s a vulgar virago taking her son to the science museum in her Honda Odyssey with Oregon bicycling license plates. Who, when she walked past me – and I smiled – gave me the death glare.
To which I have to say:
- Were you trying to shame me? Because you looked ridiculous, we laughed at you.
- I feel sorry for the kid: with a parent with those kind of anger issues, he’s in for a wild ride.
- There was plenty of bike parking.
- There was plenty of car parking, oh, 50 feet away.
- Does the honking thing actually work?
- The “natural look” actually requires makeup to look good.
So the operative lesson here is that taking your kid to the science museum makes you neither cultured nor urbane. As to which of us this applies, well, you judge.