The Attorney At Large’s Guide to Urban Manners, Part XI: Elevators and Streetcars
This is another post in my Urban Manners series.
Here is the bright line rule: people exiting the elevator and streetcar (or other public transit) get to do so before anyone else may enter the elevator or streetcar. I don’t care if it looks like the doors might shut on you – put your hand out and hold the door and wait for people to get off the conveyance. This isn’t just polite, it’s logical. Once some people have disembarked, there will be more room for other people.
Related: let the people nearest the door exit first. If you’re standing near the door and don’t plan on getting off, get out of the damn way. If conditions are perfect, you should let women and children leave or get on the streetcar first. (This is old fashioned, yes, but it is delightful when it’s done and is an automatic mark of a gentleman.) If you’re the one blocking the door, just get off the streetcar/elevator so everyone else can, too.
I really can’t tell you how many people have mowed down (or nearly mowed down) Pea in their haste to get on the streetcar before we can disembark. This is such a basic common courtesy that I’m stunned it needs to be pointed out to anyone.
You should always offer your seat to someone with a disability, someone who looks exhausted, someone who is pregnant, someone who is of a certain age (I’d peg it at 60+), or someone with a baby. (I am happy to report that we are often offered seats, but Pea is a pro and normally prefers to stand. Also, we rarely go further than three or four stops.)
Also, a word about hats on elevators. It is acceptable to wear a hat in an elevator if there are no women in the car. If a woman gets on the elevator, a man should remove his hat. If you are wearing a ballcap, go back home and change, because you should never wear a ballcap in public, anyway.
Hats on public transportation: I think they’re fine, because it’s a public place. (Unless it’s a ball cap, in which case, again, you shouldn’t be wearing it in public.) Also, it’s hard to figure out what to do with a hat on public transportation, especially if you’re standing (the rule being you should never show the inside of your hat). That being said, if a man strikes up a conversation with a woman on public transportation, the most polite thing to do would be to remove the hat. (In fact, the most polite thing to do every time a man stops to talk to a woman – on the street, or in a library, or wherever – is to remove his hat.)
5 Responses to “The Attorney At Large’s Guide to Urban Manners, Part XI: Elevators and Streetcars”
Most awesome post in the urban manners section ever! I hate it when people don’t know elevator etiquette. It’s on my list of pet peeves.
Also, my favorite way for someone to give up their seat on public transportation to someone who obviously needs it (hugely pregnant person, injured person) is, if they’re sitting near where you’re standing, to just get up and move away without making eye contact. This avoids any awkwardness about the person protesting or saying thank you. If they really don’t want to sit, they don’t have to. If it’s not obvious (person who’s a little elderly but looks perfectly healthy), then saying, “Would you like to sit?” is fine.
I love this! I’m the mean lunch duty teacher because I always insist the boys remove their hats when they walk in the doors (but let’s face it, I catch then in the hallway). I always get, “But so and so” allows it. It makes me sad, because taking off your hat is simple courtesy, and it’s a shame we don’t teach that anymore.
I love your manners posts. And I hate how rude people getting on and off an elevator or public transportation.
I joke that Liam was born on June 15th (9 days early) because on June 14th I rode the streetcar home from work (45 minutes) and nobody offered me a seat the entire time. Shockingly poor manners. A couple with a little baby got on after me, and the able-bodied sitting tourists didn’t move for them either. Most of them were female, most of them were old enough to know better. Erg.