A holiday dilemma
Posted on December 2nd, 2011
I brought out the electric pink and blue trees today and they’ve helped put me in a better frame of mind. Pea was so excited to see them after preschool today that I realized, hell, even though it’s a lean year ($50 budget, all for her), she’s so young she won’t know the difference. Also, she’s blissfully happy about the lopsided scarf I’m knitting her (my first knitting project since I was 10). Four is a great age.
In my mail today was a large, padded envelope from my mother to Pea. It contained a couple of Scholastic books (lest you think she spent money, I’m sure these are freebies) and a card to Pea.
The last time I spoke to my mother was Julyish 2010. The relationship was on its last legs then, but at that point, she said things so hurtful that it made it impossible for it to continue.
I don’t know if these books are intended as Christmas gifts (they weren’t wrapped, although there was a Christmas sticker on the card). I don’t know what to do with them. I’m all ready for that neglectful conversation, but I wasn’t ready for the emotional rollercoaster a bunch of freebie books would send me on. Some questions:
- Do I give them to Pea, or do I donate them?
- If I give them to Pea, do I tell her where they came from? (Every time she picks a book from the shelf, she recalls who gave it to her and we have to talk about it.)
- If I give them to Pea and tell her where they came from, do I write a thank you note? (Because I would rather pull my fingernails out than write my mother.)
- If I give them to Pea and tell her where they came from, do I have Pea draw a picture as a thank you note?
I punted and hid the books and card in a wardrobe, since she hadn’t noticed them yet. I don’t want to stand in the way of a relationship with her grandmother, but I don’t exactly want to facilitate it, either. M says if my mother really wants a relationship with Pea, she should call and talk to her.
I really don’t know what to do.