Not quite sure what happened here
Posted on January 29th, 2012
All of the stuff is out of the loft. It’s been thoroughly cleaned (that’s how I spent my morning). We’re 9 days early; I think this is a record for me.
I don’t know if the adrenaline has worn off after running at top speed for the last three weeks or if it’s something else, but I just — I feel down. Defeated.
Maybe it’s that there’s still a lot left to do here to make it feel like home. Maybe it’s the realization that our era of downtown living is at an end. Maybe it’s exhaustion. I’ve no idea — I just hope that I wake up in a better frame of mind tomorrow. (But if not, at least I’ll have something to say at therapy — possibly with Pea in tow, if I can’t arrange a drop-in day at school.)

Maybe this is off-base, but I know you’ve mentioned before that frequent moves were a big part of your life as a kid. All my old issues are exacerbated when I’m tired late at night. 10 PM and my optimism dies an ugly death this month.
That may be it. There were moments today when I felt really relieved that it was almost over — but after coming home and seeing the mess that’s still here, there’s not much elation. (Just resignation.)