Kids will be kids, I guess
Posted on May 6th, 2012
In the past, kids have been mean to Pea, and it’s stung (me); she hasn’t noticed it. Or rather, she hadn’t noticed it until last night.
Thursday, when a 9-year-old was nasty to her, only I noticed: I glared at the 9-year-old and it didn’t repeat. Last night, we were at a party and she came up to me, upset that “those kids are making fun of me.”
Well. What to do? All the kids were older. Pea can be a pest. I know this. She can get on my last nerve, what with the near-constant interrogations.
She was crestfallen.
I don’t make fun of my kid. Ever. I don’t hit my child. I don’t scare my child. I don’t do anything that I think could possibly be cruel, because the world is cruel enough and she will learn those lessons on her own and, oh, I am her mother and I want her to be safe and protected and loved.
So this was the first time she noticed a kid was not nice to her, at least so far as I know. It may have happened at school before, but not to the point anyone (including Pea) ever mentioned it to me.
While suppressing my desire to be cruel to other people’s children, we made excuses and went home. In the car, I tried to explain that some kids are just not nice (or may just not act nicely) and when that happens she should tell the kids to stop and if they don’t stop then to tell me or another grown-up, and….
…and that isn’t very comforting. Eventually, she calmed down. Ice cream was involved. But I wasn’t comforted. I was left with this awful mix of rage and pity (for the other kids, for whatever it is in them that makes them cruel to a sweet, if persistent, four-year-old) and Mitleid. Lots and lots of Mitleid.
Today I’m left with the holy shit oh my god what have I done fear that this is the world she has to live in, because, well, school.