Baby’s First Existential Crisis
Posted on May 29th, 2012
She came in my office last night while I was writing and said, “Mom, I’m feeling a little bit sad about something.”
Since she’d said that she didn’t want to grow up a few minutes earlier, I asked, “Is it about growing up?”
She nodded. “I don’t want to grow up.”
I pulled her onto my lap. “That’s fine with me.”
“I don’t want to be five. And I don’t want to die.”
“I know.”
She looks up and fixes me with a clear stare. “I’m not dying.”
“No, not now. Not for a long time.”
“I just want to stay four.”
“OK. I think you’ll get bored if you don’t grow up, but it’s fine with us.”
“I don’t want to die.”
“Daddy and I are here to make sure you’re safe. We love you more than anything else in the world.”
She was silent for a while. Then she said, “I want a Harley Quinn toy.”
“That would be for your birthday. Do you want to have a birthday?”
She nodded.
“Alright, then. We’ll see.”
Oh, man. I remember not wanting to grow up too.
In random news, our family went to a dinosaur exhibit this weekend, and I thought of you guys. Mostly because I figured you and Pea would have known all the names of the dinosaurs without having to read the signs like I did. =)
I am envious you were in a place with a dinosaur exhibit! We have very little in our neck of the woods.
I remember being only slightly older than Pea having a conversation with my parents about how the universe was endless, and freaking the eff out about it. I had nightmares until I was a teenager of the earth falling under my feet and floating in nothingness. I still gives me the willies to think about.