Law Students You Will Meet: The Cause (for rising 1Ls)
Posted on August 3rd, 2012
The Cause has an agenda.
Save the whales. Save the native species. Save the rainforest.
My school was known for its Cause law program. Before I started law school, I thought I wanted to go into this Cause field. I’m liberal. I care about whales, native species, and the rainforest.
And then I met all the Cause students and thought, “There is no way I want to spend three years with these people, let alone a career.”
The Cause students are hard core. They never let up. They have fundraisers (with organic, vegan fare). They organize drives to pull ivy out of nearby parks. (Invasive! Species! Must! Die!)
They demand you call your Senator on the spot to demand whatever it is they’re advocating for. They harangue you in the bathroom for using too much toilet paper (happened to a friend) or for wearing leather (ditto).
They squat over the toilets so that they don’t have to use TP. They don’t wash their hands, because that would be wasting water and paper towels. They brag about this.
Shudder.
At my law school, Cause students wouldn’t use disposable cups. Instead, they used reusable mugs. Except none of the Cause students brought the mugs back to the sink to be washed (they’d just leave them lying around campus), so janitorial staff would throw them away. Yeah. That saved energy and water. Right?
The Cause grew up in an upper middle class household, has never actually suffered, and can’t handle criticism. If you try to argue with the Cause, it will degenerate into ad hominem attacks fast. Expect that your use of a non-hybrid vehicle or bicycle will come up. Frequently.
The Cause made me crave steak and air-conditioning. The Cause made me want to plant invasive species in my garden. I’m reactionary that way, I guess.
The Cause makes me tired just to write about.
Tips for dealing with the Cause:
• Go for the organic, vegan pizza, but don’t stay for the lecture.
• “I already gave at the office.” (Don’t worry that they’ll dislike you; they’ll think you’re a jerk for not doing whatever the Cause demands, anyway. Just escape as quickly as you can.)
• Don’t shake hands. You don’t know where they’ve been.
This post, like the post about Briefing Cases and the post about the Socratic Method, is an excerpt from the Attorney At Large’s Guide to Law School.
I went to what is commonly perceived to be the most corporate law school in America, and this post actually makes me a bit grateful for the lack of hippie Cause types! Of course, I was surrounded with Biglaw Douches instead. Not sure which is worse.
I have “the Asshole” and “the Cheater” as types in the book so far. (I had the “Douche” in the AAL Guide to Practicing Law.) As solidly second tier, we weren’t feeders into Biglaw, so maybe that limited my exposure. Also, my philosophy about law school was to spend as little time on campus as possible, so I could have missed them!
Damn, I went to school in one of the most liberal states in the country (Massachusetts, woo!) and didn’t experience The Cause. And the pizza our student groups got was shitty. I’ve missed out.
Oh, that’s so not fair. I hope the alumni gatherings make up for it!
Huh. I didn’t realize how many Portlanders had gone to law school…
I think the law school generates some of the more obnoxious zeal-of-the-newly-converted new Portlandians. But at the rate the school is churning out graduates, it has to be some high percentage of the population now.
I was one of these – I was in the Feminist Action Leage. We had awesome pizza. And often beer. We rocked it.
Yes, but I’m guessing you were a fun group who washed your hands. I think that gives you a pass.
i’m still laughing because the semester i took Animal Law? yep, transfer student from *that* school in Oregon.
On behalf of all alums of that school, I offer my most humble apologies. I am so, so sorry.
This alone is the reason I didn’t go to NYU. But, then again, I probably would have liked these people more than most of my actual classmates!
I found it really interesting that I went from being one of the most liberal people I knew to being very middle-of-the-road in law school. There was a lot of polarization that went on. I don’t know if it’s the type of people who just tend to go to law school or if it was my school, but I did find it surprising.