Ah, the Creeper.

Little did I know when I sat in one of my 1L classes that the perv in the front of the classroom would be the same sort of perv I’d have to deal with in my law practice.

If you’re a guy, you may not notice the professor is a creeper (unless your particular Creeper is female or gay).

If you’re a woman, well, you know. You know the minute his eyes latch onto your chest. You know by the way he somehow manages to forget to zip up his pants before each lecture…and decides to park his crotch inches from your desk.

You just know.

It’s disgusting. The guy’s old enough to be your grandfather and he’s putting the moves on you or one of your classmates. He leers.

If you go to his office hours — even with another person — you’ll never know what will happen. A friend of mine went, with another student, to the Creeper’s office hours to ask a question about the exam. The Creeper opened a drawer in his desk, pulled out a pair of women’s panties, and asked, “How did those get in there?”

Just…ew.

Also, he’s a crappy professor, because he’s too busy showing off his unzipped pants and leering at low cut tops to get around to teaching you the subject matter.

Advantages:
If you decide to go into the field I did, where I dealt with sex offenders routinely, this is good practice for being in the same room with perverts without letting on that all you want to do is run home and take five showers.

Disadvantages:
•    You’ll have to buy hornbooks to learn the law.
•    Did I mention the ick factor?
•    You can’t utilize office hours without using the buddy system. Even then (see above).

This is an excerpt from the Attorney at Large’s Guide to Law School. What, you haven’t gotten your copy yet? Don’t you want to support this site? Do you hate freedom?