Posted on November 15th, 2012
I’ve written before about Pea’s school and my unhappiness with it. I’ve written about the racially motivated bullying I witnessed, the mean girls, and how it feels to have your volunteer efforts denigrated...well. I’ve not written about a lot, too, because I hoped things would improve.
It hasn’t, not really. She’s bored. They do nothing academic, because that’s not the method. So everything that interests her — zoology, paleontology, geology — is irrelevant. And it isn’t fun to play with kids a year+ older than she is (hello, redshirting) who form cliques and call her stupid. When she goes off and does her own thing, I get told by the teacher that I need to be more proactive and schedule playdates with the mean girls. (Again: WTF? With kids who call her names? No.)
Yesterday I learned about the stupid comment. This morning I mentioned it to the teacher. My philosophy is generally this stuff needs to be worked out on the playground and I work with Pea to develop skills to handle it. But stupid is another animal. Stupid is never okay in my book. Stupid is something that has to be nipped in the bud. Not because people aren’t stupid, but because people will internalize stupid. And my kid? Is not stupid.
Teacher: “We can talk about this at the conference.” (Next week.)
Me: “I’m sorry, but I thought this might be something you’d want to address with the child saying it.”
Teacher: “Yes, we talk about these things in the group.”
Me: “So you’re saying this will be addressed?”
Teacher: “Yes, we don’t permit name calling.”
And that basically sums up every conversation I’ve ever had with Pea’s teacher. I bring something up and it is never answered directly. I feel like I’m imposing by trying to ask direct questions. I want to send a notice of deposition and get answers. Real answers.
Right now the school is pushing hard for donations and “100% commitment” from all the families. Newsletters are going out outlining how much has been donated and what the percentage looks like. As hard up as we are for funds, I was set to donate a small amount, but I haven’t done anything with the check.
I donate my time every week, and I am trying to remember if anyone except other parents have said “thanks” and I’m coming up blank. I’ve signed up to do other things that require my time and effort (some of which I get to do later this week – yay). And I think…why? So I can have my concerns dismissed? My kid called stupid?
I spend my afternoons working with her on reading, math, money equivalents…it’s not exactly ideal, but it pretty much guarantees I’m never going to put her in full day kindergarten at this place.
And it’s hard. I’m pissed. This isn’t what I expected when I put my kid in kindergarten. I’d almost prefer, at this point, to have her sitting in some Title I school doing mimeographed worksheets.
Or at home with me.