The Gift of Family
For Christmas, I spit in a cup.
Technically, a test tube. It took a long time to fill that sucker, even when I closed my eyes and thought of lemons.
Why? Because for Christmas, M ordered genetic testing from 23andme. And I am so excited about it. Excited to see if the genealogies are correct (because they match to families, and as more people are tested and join the database, the more accurate it becomes). Excited to see what percentage of Neanderthal I am (M is 3%; I got him this testing a couple of years back). Excited to see medical predispositions (other than the blood clotting weirdness I discovered after Pea was born and which makes my life, actuarially speaking, worthless — or at least uninsurable, aside from employer policies). I’m excited to possibly tear down one of the closest brick walls in the tree, a frustrating nineteenth-century dead end.
Through the magic that is other online genealogical sites, I’ve become friends with distant cousins — better friends than I am with my first and second cousins. I’ve discovered old friends are cousins (a high school friend is a tenth cousin on my father’s side and a ninth cousin on my mother’s), and I learned I’m related to one of my fellow MILPs. M and I are, I think, 14th cousins. (Perspective: not since sixteenth-century England.)
So that makes me happy: family, or a sense of connection to others that is not entailed with my birth family. Family at arm’s length, unencumbered with drama.
And it goes without saying (even though this is the second time I’ve said it in a week) that the other Christmas blessing is my chosen family, my friends, who are so wonderful to us.
12 Responses to “The Gift of Family”
I think the family you choose is the best one, too!
Amen, sister.
My MILP family knows much more about me than my actual family, and I have a sister with whom I am fortunate to be close.
I definitely got better MILP cards than family cards (with the exception of M’s aunt). Family…ugh.
My husband and I signed up for 23andme a few years ago. NY has (had?) a law against personal DNA testing so we had to leave the state to create and mail our spit. We used that requirement as an excuse to take a lovely train trip up to Yale. So in addition to the cool things I’ve learned through the results I also have that nice memory associated with the service. Glad that the pricing has come down so much; I haven’t matched with any relatives on the site closer than a 4th-5th cousin but I keep waiting for it to happen!
That is so interesting about NY state. I’m glad it came down in cost (when M did it, it was $400, and there wasn’t anyway we could justify both of us then), too. I hope more people use the service now!
Interesting concept. Isn’t it also a teensy bit unnerving? I’d be afraid I’d find out something dark about my genetic make-up — although as the owner of one broken gene already, I can affirm that knowledge is power!
Merry Christmas!
I think I always just assume there are dark things lurking in my genes. If I find good things, I’ll be pleasantly surprised!
Very cool! I’m not one for geneology – always seems fun until I actually try looking at the charts my family has created – but I love your enthusiasm!
I wasn’t into it until Pea was small, and I needed something to do while she was sleeping all the time — the online genealogy was perfect for doing in the small bits of time I had without interruption. But I can only deal with it computerized. The charts make my head ache and remind me of taking Federal Income Tax.
I can’t remember which service the former spouse used, but it broke down his DNA into ethnic groups. Even though we could chart back his family history on both sides to Europe about 100 or so years, it said he was like maybe 3% Mexican. We chalked it up to eating so much Tex-Mex…
I am really hoping to find something that is outside the well-trod, painstakingly documented genealogies!