School, scones, skates, and general updates
Posted on January 4th, 2013
Pea tells me how she hates school. I don’t know how to answer this. Truthfully? “So did your father and I.” “I know, but you have to go, anyway.” “This is part of growing up.” “If I had to go to your class, I’d hate school, too.”
I haven’t said the last one. Yet.
This morning, I said, “I know, but if you hurry you can have a pumpkin scone for breakfast.” (I made them last night. They’re only okay, but then, I couldn’t find any cranberries in the house and I can’t add walnuts on pain of death, so perhaps just the addition of golden raisins do not make a good enough pumpkin scone.) She seems to like them, anyway.
I am happy school has started again, because that means a morning of quiet. Today, however, after school and after running errands even I was bored with, she had four epic tantrums (for her: I realize in the grand scheme of things, what I really am dealing with are just very loud and obnoxious statements of annoyance). After the second, I told her if she could keep her mouth closed and remain quiet until we drove past a McDonald’s, I would get her a shake (I know=bad mom). It was about a 10 minute drive. She made it until about 50 yards away, which was good enough. She had never been silent in the car. Ever. It was almost worth the tantrum that made me raise my voice (I don’t usually, and maybe that was why it worked) and issue the bribe. Granted, she then had another one a few minutes later, and there was a call to M that we probably need a word for, the “I am freaking out but putting a brave face on it and I know you’re in the middle of things that are much more important but I wanted to advise you that my sanity is in jeopardy and this is a good day to bring home take out, damn the cost, and forgive me if I go in the bathroom and cry for a few minutes after you get home.” It’s usually accompanied by a strangled half-sigh, half-laugh.
But the day ended well. I didn’t cry in the bathroom. Take out was good. Pea even went to bed easily. All those tantrums, I guess.
We did have a couple of playdates over the winter break, which was good. And one birthday party, that involved me rollerskating for the first time in…a long time. 25 years? It really does come back (I used to rollerskate a lot). It is surprisingly fun, even as an adult terrified of falling and breaking something (I fell once, but I’m not sure it counts if it was because Pea dragged me down and it was fall on the wood or land on top of her). And I discovered muscles I haven’t used in those intervening 25 years.
I interviewed for a job. I will not know for weeks if there will be a second interview, and even so, then there is the decision. It’s the first legal job I have seen listed in two years which I really wanted, that perfectly matched my skill sets. But it’s a tight market and there are lots of qualified people who didn’t take two years to write novels and edit novels and spend their days at OMSI and Audubon and the zoo. I don’t regret the last two years, not at all. But breaking back in is tough. And hey, did you guys notice that LinkedIn still sucks?
This does mean I’m looking for a job, ideally a part time law job, because mine is the schedule which must be flexible. Recently I’ve gone for coffee with an investigator I used to work with and I had lunch with my ex-boss and talking about big cases — it makes me wistful. I miss using that part of my brain. Researching and writing fiction are great fun (writing query letters less so), but until I have a contract with a gazillion dollar advance, I don’t think I’m going to match the feeling of kicking ass in a courtroom. Also, I miss wearing my nicest heels.
As to writing, the novel, the big one, the one I wrestled with? I am reaching a zen place with it. I like it. No, really? I love it now. I am plotting the second book in the series and I want to work on that even more than I want to work on the legal thriller that I have started.
And also, the new project is ticking along nicely! Please do go and make me happy by liking the Facebook page. (Seriously, I am easy to please — just click LIKE — and it is cool! It is where I am posting daily Regency-era trivia! And we are hoping to record the first podcast this weekend! The microphone is amazing!) Or visit the site. Or follow it on Twitter.
For now, that’s it. Blogging is always so selective. You’ve missed screeds on the shitstorm of Christmas, a holiday I loathe not for the crass commercialism (although I could), but because it’s nothing but bad memories of my family’s cruelty. I can smile and enjoy Pea’s joy and then I just want to sleep the rest of it off. (They didn’t acknowledge her this year. I have mixed feelings about that.) There are the gut-churning stress and long hours of M’s job, that I used to be good at keeping from bothering me but not so much now, the job that means I am the one who must have the flexible schedule (which is not to say he wouldn’t trade places in a heartbeat, if we could).
These are the things we talk about the most, of course, but the things written about the least. Such an artificial record.