We should be glad, I suppose, that Pea thinks vampires and werewolves are things to be feared and not sparkly things to-be-loved. Let us all take a moment to remember the awesome that was Interview with the Vampire (but not the other books or the movie) and a moment to curse the Twilight franchise.

In any case, Pea is scared of vampires and werewolves, which is fed by the boys at school who have told her they are real. So we have these conversations.

Pea: I’m scared of werewolves.
Me: No such thing, except in bad fiction.
Pea: But so-and-so’s brother–
Me: Have you seen one?
Pea: No, but the boys said –
Me: Look. Even if there were werewolves, you’re safe. You think your father would let anything like a werewolf in here?
Pea: Do we have any silver bullets?
Me: Ask your father.

A few hours later, Pea initiates the same discussion with M, who had not been privy to part one….

Pea: I’m scared of werewolves.
M: There is no such thing as a werewolf.
Pea: The boys at school say so.
M: They lied. We are the top predator on the planet. Woolly mammoth? Gone. Sabertoothed tiger? Gone. If there were werewolves, they’re gone. Nothing more dangerous than humans on this planet.
Pea: Silence.
Me, in other room: Laughing.
M, in best top-primate fashion: Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no evil, because I am the meanest son-of-a-bitch in the valley.

What can I say? That’s the man I married.