Traces of August
Posted on August 10th, 2013
With the hint of a thunderstorm (a hint, since this is the west and our thunderstorms are lame even when they happen), a few drops of rain, the occasional buzzing of insects, and the North Florida accent of a mechanic, I’ve been missing my grandparents terribly.
I usually visited in the summer. There is a scent–of air conditioning and wood polish and just something that reminds me of their house–which I sometimes catch a hint of in the linens I inherited. I don’t know if it’s wistful thinking, but when I came home after getting the oil changed today, I walked inside and just for a second, I was transported 2,881.9 miles (as Google reckons). I could feel, under my bare feet, the sandy soil, the St. Augustine grass, and the pine needles from the pines that are so different than ours here. The air would be heavy and thick and would fog my sunglasses whenever I went out. After the storm broke, I might have gone out to catch tree frogs or lizards, sprayed liberally with OFF, then later gone swimming in the neighbor’s pool.
And just like that, the feeling was gone.
It could all be sleep deprivation.
My physician prescribed trazodone to help me sleep (rather than relying on klonopin and/or benedryl and/or phenergan). Alas for me, I took one and it did nothing. I took another (per instructions) and it did nothing; maybe I was even more awake. I took half a klonopin. Still awake, mind racing, but yawning. (We’re at about midnight now.) I took two phenergan. Wide awake. The other half of the klonopin. Still awake. I pulled out a book on chess strategy (this is a big gun, this book, and normally puts me to sleep under the best of circumstances), read…and stayed awake. I took another klonopin (a whole one). FINALLY, at four, I fell asleep. Pea woke me up at 9:30.
It isn’t all that unusual for me to experience the opposite side effects of a medication. Just…not fun.
I had one goal for the day, to get the oil changed in the car. They tried to up-sell me on a lot of things, but memories never made the list.